As I am sure many of you are aware, September is Suicide Awareness Month. It is a time to remind everyone that depression and suicidal thoughts are not just something you see in the movies and dramatic TV shows. People feel real pain and no self-worth, but it doesn’t make them any less human. Regardless of how many people they can have around them, they can still feel alone and like nothing matters.
I have been battling depression since the age of 13. I have been on medications, off medications, in therapy centers, abused drugs, and made countless other attempts to “fix” myself. I used to self-harm a lot as a teen. I still struggle with it today. I no longer do it, but there are times when the thought just creeps into my head, and I have to pause. I know that it would not do me, or anyone around me any good, and I feel like I have better control that I did 13 years ago. I have self-image issues, and serious doubts about my self-worth, but I do my best every day to get out of bed, get to work, and I am fortunate to have some clients that I care for a great deal. My husband, my dogs, my family, my friends, my readers, and my clients keep me going. Some people don’t have that.
I don’t know how long many of you have been following this blog, but a few years ago, my friend introduced me to a Youtuber called Markiplier. He had about 600,000 subscribers and was known for playing horror games. The first Let’s Play of his that I watched was for The Last of Us, and that inspired my continuing WIP “The End.” Markiplier’s channel has grown and amassed close to 10 million subscribers at the time of this blog post. Markiplier, who has spoken out about his own battles with depression, is well known for not only his Five Nights at Freddy’s series, but also for doing hilarious collaborations with the comedic trio known as Cyndago. On September 16th, Markiplier and two of the three members from Cyndago made some cryptic posts regarding some sort of tragedy that had befallen them. Speculation swirled, but mostly, the fans that had come to call all of them ‘friends’ were just concerned for their well being. Today, September 19th, Cyndago made the tragic announcement that one of the founding members, Daniel Kyre, had taken his own life. (Full statement on Cyndago’s Facebook. )
Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem, as they say. Nothing is so bad that you need to end your own life. If you are feeling depressed, or like you deserve to die, please talk to someone. You are worth more than you know. If you succeed, the people you leave behind will never be able to pick up the pieces. It does get better. Talk to people you trust, join a support group, check into a therapy center; do something! It does not have to end here, and it does not have to end now. It will get better. Please check out the graphic for contact information to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. If you think you don’t have anyone close to you that you can talk to, talk to them. Please.
I doubt that Markiplier, Matt, or Ryan will see this, but in any case: Thank you guys for all the laughter that you have given your fans. Daniel was an amazing spirit, and he will be missed. Your fans are here for you.
If you are contemplating suicide: Please call the number above, or the website. You are worth more than you think. Even you don’t think it, there are people in your life that love you. I love you. I appreciate you. You are wonderful.